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When to resort to counselling for enhancing your Self-esteem and Self-Confidence?

Psychiatrist Neel Burton explains:


“People usually find it easier to build their confidence than their self-esteem and is conflating with the other, end up with a long list of abilities and achievements. Rather than facing their imperfections and failures, they hide behind their certificates and prizes. But. a long list of abilities and achievements is neither sufficient nor necessary for healthy self-esteem. While people keep on working on their list in the hope that it might one day be long enough, they try to fill the emptiness inside them with status, income, possession, relationships, sex and so on”.

If you have low self-confidence you may feel:


  • Inferior to others.

  • Inability to achieve anything in life.

  • Indulging in negative self-talk.

  • Avoiding people, situations and places because you don’t feel you can’t face then.

  • No drive and direction

  • Social Anxiety.

If you have low self-esteem you may feel:

  • Fragile sense of self

  • Negative self- talk

  • A constant sense of uselessness and worthlessness.

  • Constant comparison with others

  • You are defensive.

  • You say sorry too much

  • You find all the compliments sarcastic in nature

  • You try to avoid a conflict pretending everything is okay.

  • Feeling of entitlement.

If this sounds familiar to you, together, we can turn this around.

How can counselling help in developing Self-Confidence?

Step 1

The therapist would focus on educating the client about the counselling process. Thereafter, the psychologist would ask you about the beliefs you hold about yourself and how is it impacting your various facets of life. At the end of the session you and the psychologist would formulate the goals of counselling. Goal setting is done in sessions to achieve realistic, short term tasks that helps in boosting confidence and competency.A therapist can offer a safe space to consider what is realistic and achievable, and to explore disappointments and setbacks. Techniques and strategies can be developed to build your self-confidence and change current negative thought patterns.

Step 2

Once the therapist has a clear idea of your self-esteem and its impact on your life, he/she would employ some techniques to explore the cause behind the negative self-perceptions you have developed for yourself. Therapist would delve deep and bring the awareness of negative interpretations and track down the irrational behavioral patterns you perform as a consequence of distorted thoughts.

Step 3

In parallel to this they would help you to resolve any feelings of anxiety, anger or depression associated with your low self-esteem. They will focus on eliminating the negative self-beliefs and replacing them with more positive ones. The goal would be to develop a nurturing attitude towards yourself.

Step 4

You will then work with your Therapist to reconstruct your confidence and begin undertaking things that you have previously avoided due to expectations of failure. In therapy, client’s strengths are evaluated and explored as to how these strengths can be utilized to overcome situations that make them engage in insecurity

The psychologist would help you create new ways to build up self-confidence and self-esteem!


FAQ regarding Stress and Anxiety

  • How do you feel when you have Low Self-Confidence?
    You will feel Inferior to others, unable to achieve anything in life, Indulging in negative self-talk, Avoiding people, situations & places, Social Anxiety.

  • How do you feel when you have Low Self-Esteem?
    You will feel a fragile sense of self, Negative self- talk, useless & worthless, compare with others, defensive. try to avoid a conflict.

  • How can Counselling help in developing Self-Confidence?
    The psychologist would help you create new ways to build up self-confidence and self-esteem!

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